I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
