i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Randomize
