you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
