I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
