bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
