I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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