sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
