he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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