i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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