i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
