I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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