Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Randomize
