Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
we made out on top of his cat.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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