Im at strip club and am horny
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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