She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Floor bacon is actually really good
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
