I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
