She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
