So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
