she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
