I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
