Dude my mom stole all your condoms
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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