Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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