But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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