I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
