You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
