ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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