this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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