I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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