I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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