And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
My dick has a subreddit
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Randomize
