phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
