eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Randomize
