is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
