i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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