Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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