So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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