I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
