i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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