dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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