Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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