i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Green mimosas i think yes
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Randomize
