I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
