As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
