i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize