she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
