dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
