I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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