I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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