was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
