its not stalking. its research.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
