that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
