He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We are two peas in an std pod
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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