i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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