i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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