my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
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