I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
smell my finger.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
