I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize