i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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