question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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