he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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