I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
