did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
