yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
