As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
How does it feel to date your dad?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
