his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
