I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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