I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
