woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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