His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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