Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize