i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I can't turn off my feet"
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
